Being a Mom

Why is this time so scary?

The entire time you are pregnant you think of everything that can go wrong. They are so fragile, and it is definitely a scary time as a mother.
When they hand you a baby and you hold it for the first time, you are certain of what they will become. You imagine at that moment their entire future. They will go college, marry the man or woman of their dreams, have your grandbabies and they will be safe and happy. I think it’s a pretty standard mom dream.
When they are in this middle age, just before puberty, right after their childhood, you are just happy if they still laugh.
My daddy is 71 years old. We were talking, and he said how he would love to be 25 again, but only if he could be 25 in like 1960. He said how he didn’t really want to be a kid again if he had to do in today’s world.
I immediately thought of my son. Am I the only person who thinks it’s harder to be a child today than it was in the late 70's and early 80's ?
I pray that when he looks back on his childhood he remembers his without fear.
Every single time I walk into his room and see him there asleep in his bed, I pray for his future. I beg. I plead with God that he can go to college, meet the person of his dreams and get married and someday lay my precious grandchild in my arms.
Tonight, I was listening to him in his room playing on video games and I could hear his laughter through the wall. I walked past his room and cracked open the door and there was this man sitting there in the chair where my boy sat just yesterday.
I have made every single decision for this person up until now. When to go to bed, when to get up, when to eat, to sleep, to play and suddenly, there’s a young man sitting in my house.
I am no different than every other parent. I ache when I think of my tiny little son that once bounced about from room to room and fell into my arms like I was the greatest place on earth at the end of the day. I miss his tiny toes. They have been replaced with size 10 ½ shoes. Smelly shoes!  I miss holding him down to tickle him. That’s been replaced with me begging him to let me up before I get mad.
In like 55 days he will turn 13.
There’s a time when a child is no longer a baby. When a son is not yet a man but not really a boy.
When a daughter is no longer a girl but not yet a woman.
Why is this time so scary when you are a mother?

 

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